If Ice was as thick as hot coffee would we allow it to coat our hearts just the same?

Jessica Cote
5 min readMar 6, 2017

Lately, I have wondered about how people can become as cold as ice with a world that is supposed to be so open, and accepting. In the matters of love, I feel my heart growing colder, and colder till the ice coats my entire body making it shiver from nonexistent breezes. Romanticism seems to fail us everyday. I do not mean romanticism like “ open the door for a lady” or “ ladies first.” . No. This type of romanticism is in the general sense.

Romanticism is the state or quality of being romantic.

A kiss in the rain is romantic, offering an umbrella to a woman in the rain is romantic, but asking the lady for anything in return is not romantic. I will say the trend in society to ignore the small pleasures of making someone happy tends to fall into the category of un-romantic. In the general sense, offering a jacket to a lady standing in the cold is pretty sweet. Even if the lady declines I bet her heart skipped a beat, and it made her happy. We have become such a cold society. Cold to strangers, cold to others, cold to ourselves. I’ve bought coffee for plenty of strangers just to see them smile at the fact that a woman can be as romantic as a guy in that sense. Try it sometimes. Try getting a smile from a stranger, and I bet you will feel a whole lot better for it. Where did buying a woman flowers, or taking her to a nice dinner, or even just treating her like a proper human being become so insignificant? When did we begin to get treated like an injured deer during a wolf hunt? I am not saying every date should be paid for, but I am saying that in a romantic sense when taking a lady to dinner put away your phone. Strike conversation with her, knock down her walls, get to know her. Technology is not romantic. Not in my eyes anyways. If we start to feel like ice is covering our heart, our souls won’t ever be free of finding true happiness. I like to think coffee makes me happy. The caffeine addicted me needs the little swirl of energy to keep me going. This should be how romance is. Romance should be a swirl of energy that keeps you going. A smile is the most romantic start to a conversation. A beautiful smile can entertain more than being undressed ever could. Maybe, I am feeling dismayed because of how social media enables people’s senses of being self centered. It’s not romantic to slam your picture at every person you know expecting them to “ Like a picture”. Alas, I am old school. I enjoy holding hands, laughing, dancing, and talking when it comes to romance. I might be biased because I tend to like to make sure I pay my way in a relationship. But I absolutely love the idea of romance. The slow moments where just looking in a person’s eyes shows the depths of their soul, and you can’t look away. Or the moments when just touching the person’s hand feels like your body was burning on fire. There are times I sense real romance still lives..but that hope dies away as fast as it starts because of social media. Social media pulls any romantic strings and twists them into little balls of pain. What i mean to say is that it use to be romantic to be on the phone for hours on end talking to someone, or calling someone. I just can’t seem to wrap my head around how texting can replace a call. A voice is just so much sexier, don’t you think?

Sex can be romantic but only if done right.

Sex is romantic. Let’s not continue this trend that it should be a carnal desire, or that we should treat it as such. Sex should always remain romantic in interesting ways. I am saying yes. Sex is fun, fantastic, but naturally it should be romantic. Not romantic like you must be in a relationship to have it kind of way. But romantic like the two people spend time enjoying each other’s company, and decide to take their “ friendship” further. I am not saying “ Friends with Benefits “ should remain a thing. But let’s get real here. When did adding random woman to your Facebook account become romantic? I feel that the only people I add on my Facebook are those I know, or who I have had a conversation with. There are times I get fooled thinking I know the person, but really they just have a ton of friend’s in common.

So, let me say this, Social media can be romantic, and lead to sex. But it should not always do so. At least, I think that. I feel it is romantic in part to add a person, and find out their beliefs, feelings, thoughts, fears, and wants through conversation. After, these deep conversations it might be wise to maybe meet up. But don’t meet up with stranger’s alone. Netflix and chill is not romantic. Not in the least. Going to the movies, cuddling, sharing a hot chocolate on a cold night…these are romantic.

I Just wish …Romance was still a thing

In the end, I just wish romance was still being practiced. Too many relationships end on a sour note because the romance in them dies. It flutters out like a snow flake that turns to water before it touches the ground. I guess what I am trying to say is that love is a fickle thing.

Maybe , I am uptight. But here is what I am getting down to.

Love is not always sex, and Sex is not always Love. But if more people loved and had sex would we see as many divorces in the world? I would rather feel like a thick hot pot of coffee than ice cold. Maybe, this is why I am single going into the valentine’s day season. Maybe, I am entirely crazy. But I would like to ask you, my readers, your opinion on this matter. You can email me at: Jessicacote66@gmail.com




Jessica Cote

I am just a girl among the many fish in the sea. A writer among the many dreamers, and a socialist among others.