A dark deal

They say you don’t know regret till it bleeds from your fingers. They say you won’t know the sting of mistakes till they fall off your lips. I say you don’t know a wrong till your feet are planted firm in quick sand.

The day I picked the deal was the same day I tasted the the flavor of salt in the form of defeat. I’m pretty sure the salt was saltier than the ocean water. You can ask how does one make such a bad deal as I? Easy. When you got nowhere to go you will go to grave extremes to come up with money. I like to call myself high-class of the many choices around. If one thought women as meat I would be Kobe Wagyu ( Japanese cow). Worth a whopping three hundred bucks per lbs.

Its a funny story. The way it all crumbled like Dorothy’s home after the Tornado hit. I’m twenty one. Talk about a crazy age to have your world fall apart. What happened you ask? It was a crazy day with a cloudless sky might I add.

I awoke to the tinging of my alarm like any other day at six in the morning. Who in their right mind signed up for seven am classes in college? I did that’s who. Grabbing my robe I headed for the shower allowing my creamy skin to soaked in the rain of warm water. Afterwards, I began to get dressed in a mini-skirt and black tank top. Brushing my waves of coffee colored hair before slinging on my backpack. This all took fifteen minutes. The quickest fifteen minutes of the day.

Regret twang when I got a message on Facebook. Its one of those moments. You either hunker back into your house or you soldier on. I probably should of slunk back into my house. There only so much unfortunate events a person can take in a day.

Silvia: Alissa, your boyfriend is dead.

I think that takes the cake for unfortunate. The man paying my rent is dead. The man who paying my college is dead. A. Silvia was either pranking me. Or B. I was facing a barrel with a loaded gun with a slip of paper hanging off saying “ Your life is over.”

Standing there like a deer frozen by headlights I watched the city bus roll on by. Damn. There goes class out the window. I texted back to Silvia.

Alissa: Can you meet at Starbucks so you can tell me how it happened?

Silvia: I don’t think you want to know.

When your boyfriend is over seas fighting in a war it is only logical to think it was a war cause. Its only logical to think that it could mean he stepped on a land mine, or got shot, or tried to save a suicide bomber. The reality of his death is much darker.

I met Silvia in front of the Starbucks on bank street. Per usual she was dressed up in a light colored sundress, with high-heels, and make up along her tan face. She’s described as a man killer in bed. Arms swung around me with kisses on my cheek while she walked inside the overly dim coffee joint.

We both got mocha frappes and took a seat near the window facing one another.

“ I don’t want to tell you this. But your man was cheating. Cheating hardcore hun.”

“ This out of left field. Why would you say that?Talking ill of the dead isn’t your style even though you hated him Silv.”

“ It has to do with his death.”

I cocked my head to the side. “ Car accident?”

“ Not quite but your getting hotter. He died last night in the driver’s seat with some girl I don’t even know the name of on top of him. Talk about dangerous.”

“ The only thing more dangerous is not having a condom. Bet they didn’t even have one.” Stinging tears scorched my face. Burning any desire I had to face the rest of the day. But soldier on I must.

If your wondering why Silvia got the information first. She’s his younger sister. Family first. We separated leaving me with the conclusion that my boyfriend is a lying prick and deserved death. Along with the fuck I needed him to pay the bills. So now I’m broke, jobless, and diving head first into being kicked out of college.

Upon walking down the street I saw sign. One of this “ Ah, I might be able to do this sign.” But I was so upset I didn’t see the warning signs of it. The sign went as followed;

“ Looking for help from a college student. Paying six hundred dollars every two weeks. Text me at 765–324–1252.”

I looked down at my phone and texted the number. The response was automatic.

Stranger: Meet me on seventh street inside the night club there. Your name?

Me: Alissa. What time?

Stranger: Eight pm sharp. Don’t be late.

Now that I set up the biggest mistake of my life it was off to get some mourning cookies and ice cream. Not only did he die. But he died in pleasure. What kind of sick and twisted game was life playing on me?

Let’s skip past the boring of me crying till I saw stars behind my eyes, and plastering on make up. Let’s zip right to this ordeal. I sat on a bar-stool watching women stripping down to nothing for buck. A beer sitting on the bar yearning for my lips. What motivated men to want to see women do this?

I was in the middle of pondering this when an Asian man waltzed over to the bar wearing a black suit and jeans. The bartender knew his name by heart. “ Here for another deal?”

“ Yea. Her name is Alissa. Have you stumbled upon her?” I twirled to face the handsomest man in the market of men around this city. I would like to mention I didn’t think this deal would involve my body. Turns out I was wrong. My body was the menu.

He looked at me with sharp sapphire eyes. “ Alright, you must be her. Had a rough day? Follow me?” He waved me towards a table made of velvet seats and lace covers. It must of been a notorious spot for getting head based on the glares coming from the other men. He slumped down leaning back. “ So I have a few questions. These questions dictate how much money you will earn.”

If questions ruled my life by now I knew that there was only right or wrong answers in life. I should of aimed to get all of these ones wrong.

“ Do you know how to deal cards?”

“Like card games, poker?”

“ Yea. Do you know how to deal that?”

I nodded my head. College life gave me some odd knowledge from parties.

“ Are you a virgin?” I shook my head no.

“ Are you OK if some of the card games have your body as a prize?”

“ Yes.” He laughed. He knew the desperate woman when he saw one.

“Alright your in.”

To this day I will tell you my body has been used to sleep with a plenty of men and to kill them in their sleep. I had no idea my life would make me a killer. But if you ask me that same man unfortunately married me and gave me a mansion. If I could go back I would.

The cops will be here soon. So I must take my leave for the night. I bid you farewell till next time.



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Jessica Cote

Jessica Cote


I am just a girl among the many fish in the sea. A writer among the many dreamers, and a socialist among others.